Masculinity is not Toxic

There is often a tendency to diminish the significance of traditional masculine roles and the attributes associated with them. I hate the term “toxic masculinity” because it is a diminishing and misguided idea. This shift has led to a hostile and degrading societal landscape where the value of diverse gender roles is not fully appreciated. While acknowledging that individual traits can manifest across a spectrum, it is crucial to recognize that certain characteristics have historically been associated with femininity and masculinity. 

Feminine traits, such as empathy, nurturing instincts, and interpersonal communication, are vital in fostering emotional connections and nurturing relationships. For instance, young girls often exhibit nurturing behaviors by caring for dolls or other objects as if they were children, demonstrating an innate disposition for empathy and relational awareness. Conversely, boys are frequently seen engaging in more object-oriented play, often characterised by energetic and sometimes assertive behaviors. This behavioral dichotomy does not imply that one gender is superior to the other; rather, it highlights the natural variations in how genders tend to express themselves.

Masculine traits—such as protection, provision, and task-oriented approaches—play an equally important role in society. These characteristics are essential not only for personal development but also for the well-being of families and communities. The traditional masculine role often encompasses responsibilities that contribute to the safety and stability of those around them, particularly in familial settings. Both masculine and feminine traits are essential in complementing each other, especially in the context of child-rearing, where a balanced approach can foster well-rounded individuals.

The contemporary narrative surrounding masculinity often leans towards the notion of "toxic masculinity," suggesting that all expressions of masculinity are inherently harmful. This generalized approach unfairly stigmatizes men and overlooks the myriad of positive contributions they make to society. The term "toxic masculinity" is frequently misinterpreted, leading to a conflation of harmful behaviors—such as aggression and dominance—with the essence of masculinity itself. When asked to define "non-toxic masculinity," many may inadvertently describe traits that align more closely with traditional femininity, thus perpetuating a misguided ideology that seeks to reshape men into more traditionally feminine roles.

Such perspectives neglect the reality that many men embody a blend of traits that include empathy, thoughtfulness, and care, alongside attributes such as logic, resilience, and a protective instinct. It is essential to celebrate these positive aspects of masculinity rather than dismiss them in favor of a more homogenized view of gender behavior. Just as there are men who exhibit negative traits, it is equally important to acknowledge that women, too, can display behaviors that are harmful or destructive. This dual acknowledgment is critical in understanding that toxic behavior is a human issue rather than one confined to a specific gender.

Promoting a narrative that emphasizes the strengths of both masculinity and femininity is vital for fostering a healthy societal framework. We must encourage young boys to embrace their unique qualities while also understanding the value of emotional expression and vulnerability. Teaching our sons to be respectful, hardworking, and protective of those who cannot defend themselves is imperative. Equally, we should instill in our children the importance of moral integrity and empathy, regardless of gender.

In conclusion, the discourse surrounding gender roles must evolve to embrace a more nuanced understanding of masculinity and femininity. Rather than pitting one against the other, we should recognize that both sets of traits are crucial for the collective well-being of society. As the saying goes, “we are better together.” By fostering an appreciation for the strengths of both genders, we can create a more harmonious and supportive environment that benefits everyone. This balanced approach will not only empower individuals but also strengthen the fabric of our communities.